On this frigid morning, as I sit at the breakfast table, I can't seem to commit anything to writing; nothing of interest even to me. I don't usually attempt to write anything so early in the day. That is normally reserved as an evening activity, good for winding down after a day's work when my head is a torrent of product development problems and half-baked configuration management solutions (or just a blank slate, depending on the day).
My botched attempt at a brisk morning jog brutally jarred my senses into half-working order and left them to wonder what ghastly crime I had committed to be suddenly deposited in these "life-threateningly cold for those clothes you're wearing, you idiot" tempuratures. A hot shower and a warm bowl of oatmeal provide no solace from the fact that I am woefully out of shape. I jog as though I'm wearing cement shoes and I breath as though I've swallowed a kazoo. The darkness of 5:30 am and the absence of any friction between my running shoes and the ice I'm running on combine to produce a sight and sound that is probably quite comical from any perspective but my own. Go ahead and laugh (clomp-wheeze-clomp-slip-wheeze), I'll show you all (wheeze).....
Anyway, while slurping my over-watered oatmeal and eating my coffee (I like it strong), I resolved to play a nasty trick on the reader by switching the context to past tense and writing about the fact that I had nothing to write about, thereby starting my day off with a nice little paradox and generally annoying people who happen to read this blog and care about tense.
And now I'm off to work, where things sometimes make even less sense than what I've presented here. May the rest of your day be paradox-free.
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